We’ve all heard it said that faith is an individual decision and “parents should raise their children and let them decide for themselves.” Is this a Biblical concept or a deception to get your youth?
First of all, the question assumes the philosophy that all “faiths” are created equal and we just need to choose the one that fits us the best. This is a false assumption. For you who hold to the reformed doctrines of God’s sovereignty and predestination you will immediately recognize that we don’t choose God, but instead he chose us while we were still sinners, and draws us to him. Aside from those two considerations, scripture teaches the opposite of this statement.
After decades of following this approach, what has it produced? We live today in an American culture which marginalizes Christianity, which produces Christians who mostly do not hold to a Biblical worldview (see Barna Research, less than 9% of adults), and which loses young adults from the Christian faith at an alarming rate (70% or more).
What does scripture tell us?
First, scripture instructs us to raise our children. In many passages, it tells us how both by direct command and by example. Here are a few examples that tell us to teach God’s commands to our children. First, Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children.” In the New Testament we are reminded as well, including Ephesians 6:4 that say, “Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Another classic passage is Proverbs 22:6, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” I don’t intent to treat this exhaustively, but just to make the point that scripture does give us this command to raise our children and to specifically teach them the commands of the Lord.
The second point is the responsibility of the church comparison of the church and family. The primary basis comes from 1 Timothy 3:4-5 which explains the qualifications for elder, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. (If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)” This expands the concept with a picture of the elder as a father, overseeing the members God’s family (see Ephesians 2:19, “you are…members of God’s household”). We should see many similarities between the role of father and the role of elder. So I ask the question, are elders to simply help teach the doctrines of scripture and hope the members ‘get it’? No, Paul speaking of elders in Titus 1:9 writes that elders should “encourage others by sound doctrine and refute those who oppose it.”
The Responsibility to our Household
Let me add to the picture; through several passages we get a picture of responsibility to ourselves and our household. From the start of God’s call to His people, He commanded this through Abraham in establishing the covenant. In Genesis 18:19 God says, “For I have chosen him, so that he will direct his children and his household after him to keep the way of the LORD…” and when Aaron make his sin offering in Leviticus 16:6, he does it “to make atonement for himself and his household”, not just himself.
Many Christians are inspired by a favorite passage from Joshua. In Joshua 24:15, as Joshua stands before Israel as their spiritual head, he calls them to account and declares that “as for me and my household we will serve the Lord.” The Israelites declare that they will also follow the Lord, and the Lord shows his faithfulness to Joshua and Israel in the closing verses. Verse 31 says, “Israel served the LORD throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the LORD had done for Israel.”
The New Testament contains many examples of God’s covenant to households as well. In John 4:53 when Jesus heals the official’s son we are told that “he and all his household believed.” Then, in Luke 19, when Zacchaeus encountered Jesus, He said, “Today, salvation has come to this house.” Also, in Acts 16:31, when Paul and Silas were freed from their shackles in prison and the jailer asked “what must I do to be saved?”, they replied, “Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved—you and your household.”
Conclusion
Scripture does teach us to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It tells us to teach them the commands of the Lord. It is especially our direct responsibility to do this as fathers. The Bible singles us out. Does that mean mothers can’t teach God’s command? Does that mean the church shouldn’t teach God’s command? Does that mean we shouldn’t send our children to a Christian school? Nope, it does mean we can’t delegate this to others and neglect it in ourselves. The church may teach the Lord’s commands, but so must we!
We need to be careful about reaching some wrong conclusions here. Scripture does not teach a genetic inheritance of faith. The household or family connection is through God’s faithfulness to his covenant. He has chosen us and we have a responsibility to follow his commands and glorify Him. Scripture also does not follow the cultural idea that our parent-child relationship ends at 18 (or even 20). Our relationship changes, but does not end.
Teaching our children God’s commands and our faith is our responsibility. It is part of the Great Commission found in Matthew 28:18-20 to make disciples of all nations. We must not exclude our own children from that commission. In three words, a disciple is one who learns the faith, follows it, and spreads it. We must teach them to be disciples, so that they too can teach their children to be disciples. Don’t let the lies of the culture break the covenant of faith with your family from generation to generation.
