The Banner on Cohabitation

On January 23rd, The Banner posted an article on cohabitation. The following is my response to that article. One individual posted the following link in their comments, which I thought was helpful information: 2208 Cohabitation Report, but should not be the basis for our argument against cohabitation. The basis for our argument should be scripture.
Lots of great advice for compromising God’s word! But before that, what’s good about this? This article starts with a few stories to persuade us with emotional dilemmas and ends with urging us to challenge people to delve into Scripture.
There are a number of hints at good responses, but they seem to be peppered in to take off the edge of the response the author is proposing and to appease those who wish a true Biblical view of marriage and co-habitation. There is a gap between the cultural practice and what the Bible (not always church) teaches. There almost always is, in any era and any area of life.
So how should we respond?

1. Remember the gospel of Christ: We do need to love God and love our neighbor. We need to bear each other’s burdens (Gal 6:2). We all bear our own sins, and are called to build up the body of Christ (Eph 4:16) and restore each other gently (Gal 6:1). Restoring involves repentance.
2. Teach them God’s purpose in marriage: We should point them, not only to a covenant relationship, but that marriage is an institution of God (not of the state) and illustrates our relationship and salvation through Christ.
3. Teach them the Biblical qualifications from an early age: Teach them the Biblical qualifications for each partner in their role. Not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor 6:14), the sacrifice of the husband, his washing the wife with the Word, leading in godliness, providing and protecting (Eph 5) and raising up children.
4. Drop the old arguments: There are always false teachers and false doctrines. There are always negative influences from our culture. Learn the new arguments from the culture and engage the arguments and address them directly with your children. If teaching of God’s law isn’t done from an early age and it gets to the point of co-habitation this looks judgmental rather than helpful. Our ideas and arguments should be shaped by scripture, not the latest studies or situations, those always change and become crumbling sand.
5. Keep the scare tactics: OK, maybe not quite like that. But, the compromise explained in a couple of the stories show that the individuals fear man, or serve finances, more than the fear and serve the Lord (Prov 9:10).
6. Strive for God’s standard, and His Word: The arguments in the article forget we have a high standard, while none of us can meet it perfectly; it’s not a race against what could be worse. The author seems to argue that our culture is full of greed and murder, only maiming someone is a step toward love.
7. Our goal is to save their soul: We certainly hope and pray that those cohabiting will come to repentance. That could look like eliminating the sexual immorality, or it could be recognizing God’s beautiful plan and institution of marriage. Or, in the worst case, it can mean expelling those in sin (1 Cor 5:5) to save their soul.

The culture already has enough other areas where they have influenced the church. Which complaint would you rather hear from your young adults? "I can’t get laid." Or "I can’t find a godly man/woman worthy of my respect and honor." When we follow the culture we create both of these complaints. Shouldn’t we rather bring the culture (as far as it depends on us) under the dominion and rule of Christ? The pagan culture we live in today is a result of the church not doing its job.